It’s easy to save a person that doesn’t realize he needs saving……… I know, it sounds ironical and a bit contradictory, but not when you compare it to a person who needs saving, knows that he needs saving, knows what he needs to do to get saved, hates the fact that he is not saved but at the same time, cannot be saved. Not by what he knows or what others know for that matter…… It’s mind boggling, I know. It has to be. It’s a funny world we live in. We wake up and find new responsibilities to undertake. We move in motions only the cognitive mind can comprehend and yet in all that we do, we are oblivious of the stubs and pains that devour our hearts, our very existence. I have been told, time and again my feelings border between the line of true feeling and perfect insanity. Apparently I consider that fine line does not exist any more. I walk among my fellow creatures in disguise. I bring laughter to their otherwise miserable worlds but my laughter appears only on my outer being. In my subconscious, I need redemption from the solitude, from the constant heart wrenching thoughts of the ones who always want to come to my aid but find my doors barricaded with past experiences and the fear of trying again. We live in a man-eat-man society, or so I’ve been told….. It may be true and it may also be true that man can eat his own man……. It sounds confusing I know, but that’s how it’s meant to be. That’s the way it always is. Maybe one day I will have a story of my own. Maybe one day I will conquer my man but until then, I still require recovery. That is my story.